


am i supposed to apologise?

by space_dev



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bitch!Eliza&Angelica, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Emo!Maria, F/F, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Popular!Eliza&Angelica, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Very Emo, Very emo indeed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 05:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_dev/pseuds/space_dev
Summary: 'The Schuyler Sisters' means Angelica and Eliza. It totally leaves me out of the equation.But when your sisters are hiring cyberbullies for you, you realise there's not much you can really do.





	1. i sought understanding (clarity in truth)

**Author's Note:**

> _but i will spend a lifetime_   
>  _trying to understand_   
>  _why someone sharing my bloodline_   
>  _would not lend me their hand_   
>  _am i supposed to apologise?_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _am i supposed to apologise- maria mena ___

_I. i sought understanding (clarity in truth)_

 

"Ugh, yellow again, Piggy? And long sleeves?" Angelica groaned, scrunching up her face in distaste at her younger sister.

 

"Yes, again. Pink again for you?" Peggy shot back, ignoring the nickname that came with being the only plus-sized Schuyler Sister, only plus-sized Schuyler at all, if we're being honest.

 

"Yes, but I actually add more than one other colours," Angelica sneered.

 

Angelica was right on that count, Peggy was wearing a yellow shirt, a yellow miniskirt, yellow stockings, and her white boots that she'd painted sunflowers on last night.

 

No comment on how cool the sunflowers were. Or how that must've taken her forever (it had.)

 

 _You know what? That's it for the day, I'm done talking to you, and Eliza,_ Peggy thought. So she went into the kitchen to grab a Cliff bar, grabbed her (yellow) backpack and (yellow) rain slicker and headed out to the bus station in the rain, munching on her breakfast, and brushing her teeth with her portable toothbrush after, while she was still walking, and got to the bus station a couple minutes before the bus was due to get there.

 

The colour yellow was underrated, misunderstood, neglected. It was a happy colour, a beautiful colour, colour of the sun that literally kept them alive, colour of honeysuckles, daffodils, sunflowers, and those weedy, pesky yellow dandelions.

 

As she thought about this, Peggy stooped down and plucked a couple yellow dandelions out of the slick grass and tucked them into the long, thick braid that was her dark brown hair.

 

That was the other thing- she was Latina. Yes, one of her other sisters, Eliza, was Chinese, Angelica was black, because of their father's many wives. The first, a black woman, gave Angelica life and died because of it, the second was a Chinese woman, who gave Eliza life and died when Eliza was four because of lung cancer, and then Peggy's mother, the only one Peggy knew the name of (Gloria) was Latina, and she'd been found dead in her car one day. Eliza and Angelica didn't seem to care, her father told her to get over it, he'd already found another wife, and this one was white, they were to call her 'Mother' but Peggy refused.

 

And somehow, Eliza and Angelica were the most popular in the entire school, they could wear tank tops and shorts, breaking the dress code, without anyone blinking an eye, while Peggy was to stay to the dress code because 'just because your sisters can break it doesn't mean you can'.

 

Probably because Eliza and Angelica's mothers had been rich, and Gloria hadn't.

 

It didn't matter, anyway, because she couldn't wear anything other than long sleeves, they'd show all her scars.

 

Fifteen on her left arm, twelve on her right, all inflicted by her XACTO knife, to relieve the pain that festered inside her. It wasn't entirely because of her sister's bullying and the absence of a parental figure that gave a shit about her, or the cyberbullying jerks (probably hired by her loaded sisters) who-

 

_ding!_

Oh, she'd known it'd been too long since a message from... which one was this? She was a popular target for cyberbullies (probably because of the easy money they'd get for doing it), so she had at least 8 people sending her messages throughout the day.

 

 **From SugarrMomma (6:56 AM, April 4th, 2017)**  
You're fat.

  
She chuckled to herself. This one was obviously new, and hadn't figured out how much she valued grammar, or the many languages she knew, or anything, really.

 

 **To SugarrMomma (6:57 AM, April 4th, 2017)**  
 _Shitte iru! Amai fīdobakku, okage de arigatō! Utsukushī mama ni!_  

That'd shut them up for awhile.

 

Okay, so even though she knew how to deal with the cyberbullies, it did get to her.

 

So now SugarrMomma's message was ringing in her head, and another voice was chiming in, they're right, you ARE fat.

 

Luckily, the (yellow) bus pulled up just then, and Peggy the only one who got on at this stop (because it's the rich neighbourhood, most kids who go to Peggy's school who live in this neighbourhood have a car, but she's only fifteen, too young for that, and that makes her the youngest on her road) got on.

 

She sat in the fifth row, in an empty seat. For some reason, today the bus was nearly full. She'd heard about a car crash with teenage drivers and passengers last night somewhere nearby, that might be why.

 

So today, in the poorer section of town that this bus goes to, six kids got on, and that guaranteed the few people still sitting alone that they were about to get a seatmate, including Peggy.

 

"C-can I... can I sit here?" A person with shoulder length red hair, skin medium like Peggy's but glowing, in mostly head-to-toe black (My Chemical Romance tee, black jeans, tall black slouchy boots and a red ribbon choker), asked.

 

"Sure," she said, wondering if they were Latinx like herself.

 

They sat down gingerly, as if they were afraid of the seat breaking under them, and sat their backpack on their lap.

 

Their backpack was the coolest thing, white with a mandala design covering every inch of it, and it looked handmade.

 

They must've noticed her staring, and they said, "I made it myself,"

 

"It's cool. Are you an artist?" she asked.

 

They laughed. "I try."

 

She did not say anything else, so they attempted to start the conversation up again. "I'm Maria Lewis, age fifteen, agender female, queer, and my pronouns are xe/xir/xirs/xierself"

 

_Holy shit, an openly genderqueer and gay student?_

 

"I-I'm Peggy Schuyler, age fifteen.... genderqueer, f-figuring out what e-exactly m-my gender is, bisexual, a-and my pronouns are they/she," she stuttered.

 

 _Why in the actual fuck would you tell xir your gender and sexuality?! You're not out to anyone yet! What if someone else heard_?! The rational part of her squeaked.

 

"I-I'm not really out to anyone but you," she quickly added.

 

Xe smiled. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone."

 

And that was the end of the conversation. They both got off this yellow cheese at Marie Curie High, and they wordlessly parted ways there.

 

_Well that was fuckin weird._


	2. told the story of when i was just a girl

It wasn't always like this.

Once, the three girls had been best friends, sharing desserts, toys, punishments, intrests.

But in fifth grade, Angelica's early blooming attracted a lot of attention from the boys, attention she relished, and ate up happily. And like any child, she decided that her sisters were boring, especially Peggy.

When Eliza bloomed almost as early as Angelica and attracted popularity as well, Angie had a choice: let her do her thing, or stay friendly with Eliza to help boost her own popularity.

She chose the latter, and the two became known as the Schuyler Sisters. A pair of clever, immensely popular girls, two of only eight popular girls of colour in the private school they attended, and their popularity forced several of those girls down the notches of popularity.

But there was still another Schuyler sister.

"Peggy, dearest, would you like to be popular like me and Betsey?" Angie asked, plopping down next to her sister in her room. She had her nose in one of her mother's books, a Greek textbook.

"No, Angie, I just wanna learn Greek!" She said excitedly, blowing a stray curl out of her face and turning a page.

"But Peggy, it's fun! You get all the boys to like you, and all the teachers to like you, and good grades!"

Peggy giggled. "I already have good grades, Angie," she said, joking in the way only the eight-year-olds could.

But Angelica didn't like it.

"Fine then, you fat Piggy! Read your stupid book for all I care!" She yelled.

Peggy looked up with tears growing in her eyes.

"'M not fat!" She cried.

"Yes you are. Piggy piggy, really fat. She is only friends with fat rats!" Angelica sung meanly, oinking a bit.

* * *

 

Eventually, the rhyme was dropped and it was just 'Piggy' and oinking, and then just Piggy.

Just Piggy. That's all she'd ever be.

And then, they all got phones when Angelica was in seventh grade, and they started texting people, and Angelica and Eliza devised a wicked plan: Hire kids at school to text mean things to Peggy!

With a bribe of a quarter per message, kids jumped on it, so they gave out her number, and they noticed a significant change in Peggy.

Her few friends were lured away by the money in the mean texts, and she became introverted, fatter, much more invested in her studies and often would do nothing on weekends but study and eat and occasionally sleep.

Eliza never wanted it to be this way.

But Angelica did, and she couldn't exactly oppose Angelica, could she? Her sister was powerful enough to destroy her social life, her reputation, and any chance she ever had of having a boyfriend or be valedictorian.

So she just had to go on hating Peggy.

* * *

 

"I have a crush, Angie," Eliza absentmindedly mentioned after school one day.

"Ooh! Who's the lucky guy?" Angie asked, sitting up excitedly.

"The new guy, Alexander Hamilton. He's sooo cute! Have you seen his eyes?!" She cried happily.

"Mm, Eliza, you don't want to date him, he's not even American! And I heard a rumour that he's a bastard, and a nerd. I don't think you wanna date him," Angelica said, faking sadness.

"Oh," Eliza said quietly.  _If Angelica doesn't approve, I can't risk asking him out_.

"Well, I also kinda like James Madison..." she said slowly.

"Oh, he's cute! And he's friends with Thomas! I can put in a word for you through Tommy, and maybe we could double date!" Angelica squealed.

Thomas, Thomas Jefferson, was her boyfriend of eight months, and it was turning out better than any of Angelica's previous boyfriends. He was, however, definitely a bad boy, he'd been suspected of vandalising the school, had held wild parties with beer, and Eliza was pretty sure that Angelica had lost her virginity to him a long time ago, but there was no proof for any of those things, except the parties, everyone knew about his parties.

"Yeah! That'd be fun!" Eliza cheered, putting on a smile for Angelica, to mask the sadness that she felt at the prospect of not getting Alexander.

__

* * *

 

 

Peggy hadn't thought that she and Maria were going to meet again, but they had. That very same day, walking from Math to German, she found Eliza and Angelica haggling Maria in the hall.

"Wow, did you loose your broom somewhere, witch?" Eliza crooned.

Maria laughed. "No, it's at home. Some witches like being in shape, dear!"

"Ooh, it's my witch friend from the bus!" Peggy cried quickly, winking at Maria.

Maria smiled gratefully and walked to her.

"Sheesh, Piggy, you really wanna be friends with her? Even for you, this is a new low!" Angelica sneered.

"It's Xir, bitches," Maria called over her shoulder.

"Thank you. Whomever they are, they're mean. Should I know about them?" Maria asked when they were out of earshot.

"You must be new. They're my older sisters, Angelica and Eliza. Stay far away from them. By far the most popular students in the school, and they get everything they want handed to them, from boys to grades. They are honestly more powerful than a lot of the teachers."

"You're kidding me. At least the Student Council can do something to them, right?"

Peggy laughed bitterly. "Angelica's the president of the Student Council, Eliza's the Vice President."

"They sound a bit like the Heathers, just minus McNamara."

"Yeah, Eliza's definitely a Duke, sadly. I kinda wonder if she's really as evil as Angelica, or if she's just pretending."

"But you don't have any relationship with them... at all?" Maria asked.

Peggy nodded.

"Jeez, at least my half and step siblings will watch a movie with me when Debra forces them to come for Christmas. Sadly, I'm the only one who can't move out yet."

"Is Debra a second marriage?"

It was now Maria's turn to laugh bitterly. "No, I think she's the ninth."

"Ah. My dad's on his fourth... or is it fifth? I can't remember if the current one is Kira or Shirley. And then there's the mistresses to keep track of."

Maria groaned. "Oh, your dad's one of those?"

"Filthy rich, and half his kids aren't even from people he ended up marrying. My mom never married him, but sure enough, Eliza and Angelica are one of the few who are legitimate."

"My family's kinda backwards. Most of the kids are legitimate, it's just that the marriages don't last long."

Before Peggy could respond, the bell rang.

"Damn. Guess we talked too long," Maria said.

"Yeah, guess so. I've gotta go now."

"Hey, Peggy?"

"Yeah?"

"Come over to my house after school, okay?"

Peggy couldn't answer, she was already halfway in the door of her math class.


End file.
